Lockdown and Groundhog Day
Lockdown for the majority of the year has given most of us more thinking time than we have had since our childhood.
Although this year has been forced upon us and not as romantic as being a child with nothing but daydreams we can still be busy yet bored.
The lockdown treadmill of groundhog day has been a test to our emotional needs to say the least. Our freedom to go about our once everyday tasks has been removed and doing activities that we once never gave a second thought can create emotional confusion.
Only the other day I needed to go for an eye test in my nearest town, 15 minutes away. I did not panic but it felt unnerving, strange even a little guilt and my anxiety levels were raised at the number of people around. This has become alien to me even though only the previous year I wouldn’t have given it a thought. Our perspectives have changed and we are all on a different journey to acceptance.
Does anyone have good thoughts at 3am?
Most of us are requiring less sleep, lying awake in the early hours with nothing but our thoughts. Does anyone have good thoughts at 3am? Old past memories and hurts that were once buried have the opportunity to jump in and remind you of unresolved issues.
Every single one of us have no doubt experienced mental health issues such as anxiety, depression and even panic. We are only human and our security has been under threat, whether that be financial, job security, relationships, health and our survival. We have been in a fight or flight response to the life or death threat we as a world have faced so anxiety is a natural and understandable response.
Now I do not want to jinx anything but hopefully restrictions will soon start to lift and we can go back to being human, social beings.
Yesterday, oh the joy, I went for a dog walk, ordered a book to collect from our local bookshop, went and treated myself to a take away drink and wow how the simple things that I once took for granted filled me with new hope.
Over the past months I have reflected on some of the things I have been putting off for another day, places I wish to visit. There is nothing outrageous or unachievable, most are local restaurants, nearby wildlife sanctuary’s a bag of chips on the beach watching the sunset.
I have not written a list but instead I have printed of visuals from websites, put them on a pinboard and placed it opposite my bed so it is the first thing I see when I wake up. It is giving me something to look forward to, control over my destiny and well it feels exciting and suddenly I am very content with doing it alone.
Lockdown has given me a kick up the backside and I have plans!